The Wounds That Heal With Ice Cream
The scene, an archetype of several generations, continues to be repeated and imitated. A sofa, a blanket and a nice tub of ice cream. In the head a storm of clouds and the feeling that that small and soft refuge is the only place where earthquakes, bombs, attacks and other emotional catastrophes cannot scratch us.
The cold and sweet taste of the ice cream, compared to the warmth of the blanket, acts as ink for the drafting of the first weak attempt at reconciliation with the world. A raft on board which to identify and recalibrate all the patterns that have risked being threatened. Patterns that, be they many or few, are all fundamental.
The power of cold
Cold is one of the most powerful anti-inflammatories and anesthetics we know. When our feet are cold, it’s like we don’t feel them. When we have a muscle sprain, the first thing they recommend is to put ice on the inflamed area, so as to prevent even more blood from concentrating on it.
Taking our distance, getting out of that stage of “heat” is a choice that allows us to curb a current of incessant thoughts that do nothing but increase the size and pain of our emotional wound. Getting out of conflict situations that overwhelm us with the dynamics of their atmosphere will at least prevent us from saying what we do not want to say, at least not with the anger and lack of tact typical of these extreme situations.
If we think back to all the words we have said and then regretted, we will probably realize that many were spoken in hot blood, in the midst of the inertia just mentioned. It is anger or sadness that momentarily make us blind and cancel any form of affection from our way of expressing ourselves.
The cold is needed for the soul to recover, but when it is too much, it prevents wounds from healing
If we keep the ice on a muscle sprain for too long, the blood will stop flowing and the tissue will not receive the nutrients it needs to heal. The same happens with emotional wounds: the cold of ice cream is great for the following day, for the first few hours, after which it is human contact, warm and soft, that can help us heal the wound.
Even contact with ourselves can be useful, even just a look inside ourselves, facing that side that we have ignored for too long out of fear. That’s it: excessive cold will swell worries and sadness, forming a bruise. At this point, it will be much more difficult to hunt them. It follows the importance of having an active social circle that is part of the immune system of our emotions.
Our mind, in all its glory and magic, works this way. It has some mechanisms that are suitable for use in a limited space of time – such as denial in the face of the loss of a loved one – but which backfire if they threaten to take root in us forever. As in the case of ice, therefore, any moment of disconnection with reality must have a limit date, so that the short-term benefits are not miserably canceled out.
We used the metaphor of the afternoon in pajamas, with sofa and ice cream, but there are less direct escape routes that we use to get away from what surrounds us, such as long walks alone or short temper. In reality we are not angry, we just try to avoid that someone brings us back strongly in the face of the facts from which we want to escape.
We are not going to blame others, which is why if it happens, we feel guilty. Because we don’t know how else to do it, no one has taught us to find our own space and often, in an attempt to step aside, others believe that our desire is, in reality, the opposite. For this reason, emotional intelligence resides in acute people, because it is a matter of shades and unspoken rules that could easily break. Use it in your favor and, when the ice cream runs out, know it’s time to go back to the world, not to get another one.
