Self-revelations: Advantages And Disadvantages

How do we behave when we meet someone for the first time? To break the ice and start a fluent conversation, we use self-revelations ; that is, we give “free” information about ourselves. Our interlocutor is not asking us personal questions, however our intention is to establish a connection with him / her and for this we use this strategy.

Self- revelations are considered strategies, as they form an important part of our social skills. Some people use them less than others. And while they are useful, they can also cause some problems if we overuse them.

Self-revelations: when we meet someone for the first time

How to recognize self-revelations? Very simple. Whenever we express an opinion, manifest our will and talk about ourselves, we are putting in place self-disclosure mechanisms. It is a way to make ourselves known, a strategy to create a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere and, sometimes, to seek affinity.

For example, if we share an opinion with the other person and they agree with us, we are on the right path to building a bond.

Giving information about ourselves is very pleasant, as it creates a climate of trust and invites the interlocutor to do the same. In these circumstances, it is normal for questions to be favored.

Self-revelations are very useful, because we don’t know anyone in the world more than ourselves. If we don’t have a lot of social skills, that’s a good start to “strike up a button”. Giving personal information attracts interest, generates curiosity and stimulates the desire to get to know us better.

However, while making use of this tool, we sometimes make some mistakes. Very often we don’t know why someone dislikes us or why the relationship hasn’t grown. These situations can be a symptom of a problem related to self-revelations.

The disadvantages of self-revelations

While self-revelations seem like an excellent way to start a conversation and meet new people, the truth is that sometimes they don’t bring any benefit. Below, we want to expose some of the errors that can generate tensions.

Projecting a false image

All the information we give about ourselves is “positive information”. That is to say, we do not talk about our defects, our shortcomings or weaknesses. If we exaggerate ourselves, we could project a perfect image of ourselves, which will turn out to be false and cause us to lose credibility.

If we think of a person who believed himself to be better than others or that he showed himself to be  flawless , we will deduce that he has certainly exaggerated with the exaltation of himself or that he has concentrated too much on his positive aspects.

Overdo the information

Some people like others to confide in them, opening up even if there is no in-depth knowledge. However, others feel uncomfortable with certain information. For this reason, we must be cautious until we have thoroughly known the person with whom we are interacting.

For example, being too thorough in telling something or describing feelings with precision can generate a certain rejection if there is no confidence. For this, we must pay attention to the non-verbal communication of those in front of us, so as to know if it is better to keep some things to ourselves.

The secret is in balance

It is important to consider that not revealing any information about ourselves and being hermetic does not favor the building of new bonds. The same is true if we exaggerate and say everything about ourselves as if we were talking to someone we know well (when that’s not the case). These two extremes are very bad. Therefore, the success of self-revelations is found in balance. 

Most of us have most likely made mistakes by resorting to self revelations, which is normal. It is not easy to understand what information it is permissible to give initially or to guess if the other person may bother what we are saying. However, you learn from experience.

The most important thing is to be aware of the automatic use of this social skill and, above all, do not forget that self-revelations strengthen bonds with acquaintances and help build new bonds with strangers. The secret is in balance.