Self-confidence, Useful Strategies

When no one believes in us, it’s the best time to do it yourself. So when someone tells us that we are worthless, that our moment has passed or that our desires are unattainable, we raise our heads and smile. To establish limits, there is already us or reality. Doing so will help build self-confidence to create a more stable compass that you can have more control over.

Fear must be trained and its influence limited. Only in this way will it be possible to have self-confidence . Insecurity is a bad companion and those who choose to stay in their shelter will never enjoy the view from the top of the tower, where all the possibilities of infinity light up before their eyes.

Abraham Maslow said that the human being comes into the world with almost unlimited potential for self-development, to reach the top of needs that include the highest goals of happiness and well-being. As curious as it may seem, not everyone manages to reach this summit despite their skills allowing it.

For what reason? At one time or another we all meet an agile agent willing to suppress our personal growth. We can encounter him in many different scenarios, and he often acts without warning. It can be family members, friends, professors, colleagues or superiors…  they clip our wings and convince us that we are not worth enough.

Jonah complex or when you stop trusting yourself

As a child you had asthma and at a young age they convinced you that sport was not for you. Football, karate, tennis? Better something quieter. Better chess or drawing. Later, speaking with your teachers, you expressed your desire to become astronauts and they, with an ironic smile, said: “But if you and science are two opposite poles! Rather, he studies letters. “

At university you decide to become a writer. It takes you a year to write a science fiction novel, with dystopian undertones and a good sense of humor. When you present it to the publisher, you do not receive a reply or at most an automatic message.

Your manuscript is one of a thousand. Family and friends suggest that you leave your literary career and focus on a job and maybe become a middle school teacher. Teachers who one day dreamed of becoming Serie A footballers, then astronauts and finally writers.

What to do when nobody believes in us? Maslow himself wrote a very interesting book about it,  The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. In it he explains that most of us have considerable potential for self-realization that we don’t always fully exploit. We just fantasize about what we could do or what we could achieve.

However, we use neither the means nor the psychological condition. We let ourselves be influenced by the opinions of others and decide to stay in our comfort zone. This reality was defined by Maslow as the Jonah complex. This complex describes all people who, despite being aware of their skills, do not have the courage to develop them due to fear and insecurity.

What to do to have self-confidence?

There will always be someone who will tell us that we are not worth enough or that we do not know and even worse that we cannot make our dreams, wishes or plans come true. When no one believes in us, we are left with only one option. The most logical and plausible thing to do is to believe in ourselves and prove that others were wrong.

We’re not saying it’s easy or fast. Doing so requires an adequate inner process which is based on three dimensions.

1. We don’t have to be ourselves, but who we want to be

We are used to hearing the phrase “learn to be yourself”. It’s time to go a step further and define this idea a little better. If we just “be ourselves”, we could make some dimensions chronic that are of no benefit to us. If fear, insecurity and a need for approval reside in our current ego, we will hardly achieve our goals.

The ideal is to clarify what we want and who we want to be. We must promote an inner transformation that allows us to have new strength and more courage with which to trust ourselves.

2. A leap of faith between the life we ​​have and the one we desire

Each leap requires an impulse and each impulse must have sufficient strength, will, motivation and optimism. So when no one believes in us and in our possibilities, the last thing we have to allow to happen is for it to infect us with its defeatism and negativity. Let’s draw an itinerary, draw a plan in our mind and fill it with positivity and determination. Only then will we jump higher.

3. If some people don’t believe in us, someone else will

Achieving a goal requires the ability to have self-confidence. It is true that we live in a social scenario, therefore we cannot always achieve a goal and achieve success alone. A triumph, in fact, needs recognition, a promotion or an award, which indicates that other people recognize our worth.

Let us not allow ourselves to be trampled by certain negative experiences, we do not lower our heads in front of those who, at certain times, doubt us or make irony about our ideas. Ultimately, great successes never had simple beginnings.  From one moment to the next, the right people will appear, those who really know how to see, those who know how to appreciate and understand our value.

Let us remember that the opposite of courage is not fear or cowardice, but resignation. This is exactly our problem: we resign ourselves and content ourselves with what we already have or with the comments of others.

We then begin to doubt who turns off our dreams, who suggests we get off the moon or stop insisting on a ridiculous desire. No goal is ridiculous if it has been in our head or heart for a long time. We challenge fear and overcome resignation to reach our personal heights.