It Doesn’t Matter Who I’ve Been, But What We Can Be Together

What does it matter who I’ve been in the past, if you’ve known me now, the way I am? What does it matter if I failed, if I disassembled and then rebuilt myself and now this is what you met? And I’m not asking you to rate it or judge it, just to enjoy it with me. After all, it doesn’t matter who I’ve been, but what one day we may be together.

For sure, when we met, we both felt like we wasted kisses, hugs and precious time. They have now faded over time and suspended in the air, enveloping us in wisdom and perspective, but they are no longer part of us. They left, perhaps to help someone else grow emotionally. Now, we continue to grow, to move forward, we continue to make mistakes, but in a different way, with other stories.

We start from one story to create another

Everyone must follow their own path, without haste, without speeding up their times, but knowing that if we skid, we will not end up in a precipice, at least not without the other trying to avoid it. If we don’t think and act this way, what’s the use of being together?

Because no one has ever saved anyone, nor will, but the affection that keeps us company and the passion we feel gives us the strength to make the end of each day a kind of salvation, a heroic joint bet. I don’t know if I believe in romantic love, what they talked about so much is what hurt me. Now, I only believe in love that makes me feel good.

I could explain a lot of the things I’ve done or the person I once was, but even if I felt the need, I would never do it. There is no need for many explanations, when there is a reason to be together, a more than valid reason, such as those reasons that make you open your eyes and look from a new point of view and that envelop you with the mystery of every thought that recalls the person you are with, the person you love.

Because you can be in many ways, but in a few you can love. This is why I don’t even feel the compelling need to specify a marital status. I’m not in that phase, I don’t want to regularize anything, I want us to walk following the rhythm of life and not that of obligations that come from outside. I want it to blossom, I have a great desire to live it and I don’t feel the need to show it to others. My love is not an ego cult, the game that others play.

And what about you?

I will tell you about me, what interests me, what is really important. I don’t know the exact chronology of your life, but I’m interested in knowing which side of the bed you like to sleep on or understanding what happens in my head when it silences reason in the face of the feeling I get when I see you happy and I know that, at least in part, it is due to me.

We could tell each other a lot about who we were, but in reality it would just ruin everything. When you are more interested in contemplating the eyes that look at you than knowing how many times they have done so in the past, you are neither blind nor absorbed. You are in love and this is a positive sign of my past. That past that led me to be with you. I was neither born nor lived to meet you, yet it happened and I feel blessed to be with you.

What do we expect from us, even without knowing everything about what we have been

What can you expect from a couple who don’t know all the details of what the other has done in the past? This is what people say that they conceive of love as an application for a job interview and feelings as the necessary ingredients to prepare the most suitable dish to feed on.

We know what there is to know about each other. If I am surprised by your goodness, it is not because you have decided not to submit to the lie detector. If I am surprised, it is because I don’t wake up with fairy tales every morning , I wake up knowing that I have a story. Something that is in the mystery of stripping your soul, but without having to dust off your entire past life, because that only spreads germs.

What matters most to me is knowing that you also care about what we have together. Knowing that you will support my decisions not because they suit you, but because you know they will make me happy. Knowing that you care what I do, not because you can control it, but because you want to understand me better. Knowing that you try to talk, sometimes even argue, because you know it’s important not to argue.

It is not an idyllic love, we are not a prince and a princess who met in the middle of puberty and who were touched by a magic wand. We are a couple that builds, because we already know the reason why it is worth healing, that is love. I know about you what I’ve always wanted and dreamed of, and it’s not a perfect story, it’s not a perfect love following an unimpeded path.

I wanted a love that is quiet, but exciting at the same time, a little scruffy, a challenge, but nothing dangerous, inspiring, but not full of unsolvable intrigues. I don’t need to know more about you, because what I already know seems too much to me.

With what I know now and what I imagine for our future, I already have enough emotions to manage, understand and enjoy our story. If we are at this same point, what can be expected of us? Well, in my opinion, everything and nothing at the same time and that’s the beauty of abandoning what is explicit to grasp what is sincere.