Bullying Wounds: Emotional Suffering For The Victim And His Family

The following account attempts to describe the suffering caused by the injuries of bullying. It’s about a child who is a victim of this torment and his parents. Explain how this condition consumes the days that pass. Tell about the most immediate consequences of the injuries of bullying .

Symptoms

“We don’t know what’s happening to him. He constantly complains of stomach pain and headache. He no longer sleeps like he used to. He wakes up at night in anguish and comes to sleep with us. He worries about things he didn’t care about before.

He has sudden mood swings. A moment is quiet, a moment later he gets intensely angry and starts crying in despair. Sometimes he also acts rebelliously when we tell him to stop biting his nails or behave himself. We had never seen such behavior before.

There is something that anguishes him, but we don’t understand what, because he doesn’t talk about it with us. We suspect that something is going on at school. Maybe he has too much pressure or maybe some child is bothering him. We keep asking around. We ask the professors, his brothers, the parents of his friends. Nobody knows anything.

Sometimes he is cuddly. Even though he is usually a loving child, the addiction he is creating begins to worry us. At certain times of the day it seeks our attention in an exaggerated way. As we realize that something is changing, let’s try to use these moments to talk to him. We want to understand what’s going on.

Sometimes he withdraws into himself and says he doesn’t want to talk. He says he is ashamed. Other times, however, he does not want to go to school, that there is something wrong. Finally he tells us that some children who take it out on him, insult him, annoy him and on certain occasions even beat him.

The whole world falls on us. We finally understand the origin of his anguish and his malaise. It’s about the wounds of bullying.

Countermeasures

Let’s talk to the teachers right away. This situation must be resolved. These children cannot behave like this without being reprimanded. Our son cannot go on living in this situation. Neither he nor anyone else.

We have to rearrange our ideas and understand what we can do, how we can act. It is difficult, when situations like these happen, not to get carried away and go and say a few words to the bullies and their families. However, we know that it is best to avoid having the child participate in conflicts or direct confrontations.

So, for the moment we try to calm down, the  feelings bubbling inside of us do not let us think clearly. Taking some time and emotionally moving away from the situation will help calm us down.

First of all, the important thing is to create a safe climate for our baby. We are already working towards this goal, we are doing everything possible. The school will start taking countermeasures. Professors and friends will keep an eye on every movement and every gesture of the bullies towards our son.

But that is not all. The wounds of bullying have left scars on our son’s emotionality. Even though he has already told everything, he continues to be afraid and distressed. He continues to have a feeling of rejection of school. What can we do?

Helping a child deal with the wounds of bullying

Helping a child deal with the wounds of bullying and social maltreatment is no easy task for families. Here are some tips.

Create a safe environment

Create a safe space and an environment of trust: it is essential to offer the child the security that those around him will watch over him. He must feel that nothing will happen to him and that the people around him are on his side. In addition, he must understand that the attackers will pay the consequences of their conduct. Despite this, it can sometimes be difficult for the victim. Over-protecting the child should be avoided, as this can generate a vicious cycle that is addictive and which over time will cause negative consequences.

NOTE: Even if countermeasures have already been taken in the school environment, the child may continue to demonstrate a negative attitude towards school. We need to explain to him that  the school environment is now safe. He must understand that going to school will do him good and will help him feel better and heal the wounds of bullying. If the child has stopped going to school, we can make the reintegration process easier. To do this, we can gradually expose him to a school environment: meetings with friends or walks near the school. In severe cases this process can take several hours, until the child realizes that there is no longer any danger.

Talk about suffering

We need to talk to children about their suffering, this state of malaise needs to be given a name. Little ones may not know how to translate what they feel into words. It can be anxiety, sadness, anger, or a cocktail of negative emotions. Becoming aware is the first step to process what is happening or what has happened. We use terms appropriate for their age and level of development to help them improve their learning. Plus, we don’t have to exert any kind of pressure. They should not feel responsible for the presence of certain symptoms.

Relaxation techniques

Teaching relaxation techniques and other methods of emotional relief : it is very important that the child develops resources that allow him to release tension. Relaxing will help him to calm the physiological tension created by the anxiety and emotions that pervade him. This will allow him to rearrange his ideas and to have positive and comforting images.

Positive experiences

Fill the child’s days with positive experiences that allow him to counter the suffering generated by the complicated situations he has just experienced. These moments have a big impact. They will allow the child to keep comforting thoughts, images and memories in mind that will replace those that create discomfort.

Action plan

Establish a plan of action for possible future conflict situations: We can talk to them about how they can behave if they feel threatened or blocked. We have to be careful about the terminology we use. We do not want to denigrate their past, present or future way of acting.

Social skills

Strengthen their social skills: little ones need to be trained to manage conflicts. They must develop skills to consider the basis of their behavioral strength. The strong communication style is the best style for resolving conflict situations, both in the school environment and outside. This will help children not to feel weak in the presence of others and to be able to make favorable decisions without getting stuck.

Ask for help

Talk about the importance of asking for help: asking for help does not make you weak or less capable in a social or personal sphere. It is important to convey this message to children, whether they have been bullied or not.

Self-esteem

Strengthen their self-esteem in a parallel and constant way: it must be understood that the victims of bullying are children whose identity has been taken away. This is why it is important to strengthen the concept they have of themselves day after day. Obviously it is necessary not to fall into excessive praise and to shape their path.

In conclusion

The wounds of bullying cause great suffering to children and their families. People living in these realities must show understanding and empathy for the pain they experience. In addition, it is very important to educate children with values ​​of respect, zero tolerance towards violence and cruelty. The best way to do this is to talk about the topic together from an early age and lead by example as parents in the family unit.