Being Demanding With Oneself And Feeling Unwell
We all have a kind of inner voice, also known as conscience (or inner dialogue). Evaluates, questions, and mulls over everything we do. Its purpose is to help us improve, grow. But when this inner self sets itself a goal and becomes extremely demanding, the problems come; by doing so, instead of encouraging us to do more, it leads us to take refuge in our comfort zone. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever been so demanding with yourself that you find yourself exhausted and with self-esteem under your feet ?
If the answer is yes, in this article you will find valuable practical advice to keep your “little voice” at bay and not be more demanding than necessary . Broadly speaking, it is about learning to know yourself better in order to learn to self-motivate without leading to the emotional exhaustion often experienced by those who aspire to perfection. But let’s see in detail what are the secrets to live better:
How to be less demanding and live better
Learn to tolerate frustration
The first step to being demanding enough is to work on your degree of tolerance for frustration. This involves accepting that changes are normal and happen every day. If something isn’t going the way you wanted or expected, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going wrong, even if that’s what you feel. In other words, to be more tolerant of frustration you have to fight emotional reasoning (think based on the emotional state without making an objective analysis of reality).
If you want to learn to tolerate frustration better, it will also be necessary to change the language and words used to voice your feelings. It is about shaping your thoughts using a more “flexible” language, for example saying goodbye to the most defeatist, dramatic and catastrophic words and replacing them with words that can help you relativize. It’s a great way to harness the power of language in your favor.
Be more empathetic
One of the best ways not to ask too much of yourself is to apply the same parameters to others as well. To succeed, you will have to pause to think about how demanding you are with others, if you push them to overcome or, conversely, punish them if they fail. It is important to find a balance in what you ask of others, because you must, yes, be able to push them out of their comfort zone, but without letting them enter the panic zone.
It is equally important to stop labeling others based on whether or not they meet your expectations. It’s a good exercise to stop labeling yourself too.
L ‘ empathy is essential skill if you do not want to risk being demanding with oneself and with others. Try to think about how other people feel when they don’t reach their goals, think about how you feel when things don’t go the way you wanted. Don’t you feel guilty enough already? So don’t be heavy on others, think twice before creating a problem out of thin air.
Finding a balance between interests, needs and well-being
Always keep in mind why and why you are so demanding of yourself. Above all, ask yourself: “What do I gain by demanding so much of myself?”. If you realize that you are getting nothing but discomfort, arguing with your family, with your partner or with your colleagues, it means that perhaps it is time to be more flexible and to review your goals.
In the long run, being demanding of yourself won’t do you any good. Every day you have to try to carve out some moments of well-being and relaxation for yourself. There is not only work, duty and perfection.
Be sure to include a few moments to unplug as a priority. Regardless of whether or not you have what you set out to do, you need to take a few moments to pamper yourself.
A good way to try to be less demanding of yourself is to take short breaks. That is to say that no matter what you are doing, every hour you have to get up, get a glass of water, stop thinking for a moment about what you were doing and rather think about yourself and your needs. Expecting so much of yourself must be the means, not the end.
Always remember that being demanding with yourself should help you push yourself beyond your comfort zone; if on the contrary, you end up taking refuge there for fear of failure, you are surely doing something wrong. Only you can say enough, accept yourself for who you are and be more flexible.
If you try to be less demanding but can’t, don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are hundreds of specialist psychologists who have all the skills to help you become the best version of yourself!
