The Forbidden Fruit Effect

Have you realized that when something is forbidden, dangerous, inaccessible or difficult, it attracts more?  Conversely, when things are too easy or we have a lot of confidence in mastering them, we end up getting bored or losing interest. This is referred to as the “forbidden fruit effect”.

The forbidden fruit effect manifests itself in every human being and derives from the desire to know what is unknown, to discover the consequences of what is considered dangerous. We humans do not like prohibitions or impositions, as they appear to us as threats to our freedom, something to which we give extreme value.

When something is forbidden, it arouses interest and curiosity in us. We are more motivated to learn more about it, in order to reach it and explore it, to consider ourselves free and mitigate that unbearable curiosity.

Who says what’s forbidden and what’s not?

From an early age, the family and school, society in general, tell us what is good and what is bad, imposing certain limits that we must not cross, otherwise the consequences will be negative.

But the human being likes to experience first-hand the consequences to which he is warned, since the fact that someone tells us that there is a dark side awakens in us the temptation to try it and to know its limits.

Crossing those barriers imposed by the world and by other people brings us a certain pleasure, due to what is known as “conscious fear”; that is to say that we are afraid of the consequences that could derive from it, but we are aware that we have the situation under control and that, if we want, we can interrupt our adventure and leave.

This is what we think, because then things are not as simple as we imagine; that sense of control is responsible for our enjoyment of transgressing certain rules or norms.

On what occasions do you like the forbidden?

We are attracted to what is hidden, complicated or which can have dangerous consequences in many situations of our daily life. Just take a look at social relationships.

If a boy or a girl makes things complicated for you, he becomes irresistible; if, however, you see that you have made it, that he is crazy or crazy about you, you end up losing much of the interest, since there is no longer that controllable “danger” that activates our adrenaline, which makes the knowledge of that bad boy or funny girl.

With the question of infidelity it is the same. The thrill that runs through our bodies when we do something we shouldn’t morally be is very tempting and attractive to some people. Breaking the agreement we made with our partner can be dangerous, but it becomes exciting because we are aware that we are putting ourselves in that danger.

The same thing happens with diets: if we are forced not to eat chocolate, soft drinks or a food we will have this temptation in mind all the time, eventually succumbing to it.

How can we manage the forbidden fruit effect to be beneficial?

Managing the forbidden fruit effect can be beneficial when we are aware of its existence and learn to manage it properly. Below we give you some indications for this purpose:

• In social relationships, never demand anything from anyone. Also avoid prohibiting or hiding anything. First of all, who are we to criticize, conceal or forbid something from someone? Remember that people don’t like to see their freedom limited. However, you can always give advice or suggestions with love and love, which greatly increases the likelihood that those around you will come to change what you don’t like.

• When it comes to impressing, make yourself interesting. If you want to conquer someone, before giving yourself completely, you have to play and flirt a little. Although you have a desire to text that person nice or call them to meet you, hold on and don’t go too fast. Make him miss you, but in moderation. It is important that the other person does not think that the games are already done and that he has practically won you over: this decreases interest; make her think that you are a little bit “difficult”.

• If you go on a diet, make sure it is not too rigid; this will only lead to hunger and you will end up having a feast. Do not forbid any food and also give yourself permission to make an exception to the rule every now and then. A dessert a week, a drink or fried potatoes will not be so harmful and will reduce your temptation.

• In the education of children and adolescents, limits must be imposed, but we must always explain why something must or must not be done. We need things to be explained to us in a way that we understand, otherwise children eventually end up violating these rules out of curiosity. It is also important to give them alternatives, instead of absolutely forbidding something.

Knowing the forbidden fruit effect is important to get to behave better with the people around us or in certain circumstances. We must be very aware that the most important thing, both for us and for others, is to obtain freedom, but also that we all have the capacity for choice and self-control.